They lost a 4-year-old son. Now this Iowa farm family is building a regional grief-therapy center
Stables 4 Jed will be constructed and operated as a non profit in honor of the late Jed Riesselman
MANNING, Iowa
A wooden cross in a lovingly landscaped garden near the horse barn on this Manning farm marks the final resting place of Jed Riesselman, a little boy who carried an Avengers backpack on the school bus he couldn’t wait to board, smiled at the mention of M&Ms and bonded with a horse named Toby.
His surviving family mourns the absence every day as reminders of Jed, the apple of his late cattleman grandfather Dan Muhlbauer’s eye, abound on the farm.
Now the family, led by Jed’s parents Rob and Megan Riesselman, is working to turn the Manning farm boy’s memory into an inspiration for public-mindedness. The Riesselmans have established a non-profit foundation, Stables 4 Jed, with an intent to construct a mental-health/grief facility, one with a focus on horse therapy, right on their farm, 5 miles southwest of Manning, on the east side of 370th Street.
“I never thought this would be our path, but we are on it,” Rob said on a brisk Saturday morning as he watched his 11-year-old daughter, Liv, feed two quarter horses, Axl and Rose. “I didn’t, of course, want to be the one to have to do this, but there is a need and somebody needs to step up and do it. This isn’t about a legacy. I don’t like that term. I don’t want this attention, but other people with grief need this attention, and that is what I am here for.”
Planned for 5 acres on the Riesselmans’ row crop and cattle farm, the facility is designed as a regional center for people struggling with grief of many varieties, from the loss of a loved one to a job or finances or other problems.
“Jed was the spirit that would save anybody,” Megan said. “That was Jed. He was a helper so if Jed had to go we are going to use the loss for some kind of benefit. We are going to use it to help others. We don’t want people to go through what we did. We went to traditional therapy. It was not what we needed.”
The $1 million center, planned to be built through donations, will include an arena for counselors to interact with the grief stricken using equine therapy. The complex will include offices for professional therapists, space for individual and family sessions, and if funding is available, will be ringed by cabins for overnight and extended therapy.
The Riesselmans see it having a multi-state reach as demand for mental-health services continues to increase in post-pandemic America. The center will focus heavily on loss.
“This is the time,” Megan said. “Loss isn’t going away. People’s tragedies aren’t going away. This is a secluded area. People can feel welcomed. They’re in a place that somebody has gone through it. We get it.”
Stables 4 Jed will bring more to the bereaved than just horse therapy, but it’s an essential element of the visionary project, which the family and its network of supporters will operate as a non-profit. Construction will start as soon as funding is in place.
“I grew up on horses,” Megan said. “My dad (Dan) always had horses. Before I was walking I was on a horse. That’s just how me and my brother and sister were raised. We were on horses for everything. I think going through what we are going through — horses are calm. They pick up on what you are going through. They have that just natural sense and ability to know your emotions. When times got rough growing up, it was always, ‘Do you want to ride a horse?’ And let’s go talk about what is going on. Now it is something we all cling to.”
Rob said the project developed as his family, which includes son, Jack, 12, a good shot on the driveway basketball court, faced challenges finding assistance to cope with the loss of Jed. Rob sees an urgency in Stables 4 Jed.
“The time should have been before this,” Rob said. “It should have been before us. There was nothing in this area to go to when we lost Jed.”
Grief is highly personalized and isolating, said Rob, 36.
“You feel so alone in it,” Rob said. “I feel like you go out into the public and you put on a face — ‘I’m OK’ — and then you go home and it all falls apart. This gives us a space to fall apart in a setting where you get to fall apart and have the help right there with you.”
Megan, 35, says she expects the loss to remain with the family for life. Stables 4 Jed will never eliminate the pain for the Riesselmans. They can help others, though, and that’s something, Megan said.
“Our hope is Stables 4 Jed will be an outlet for people who have gone through similar loss,” Megan said.
Megan said her son Jed was the “kid everyone wanted.”
“He was the kid who walked into a room and the room lit up because he was there,” Megan said.
“People gravitated to him,” Rob said. “It didn’t matter where he went. I mean, you can see his picture. He was just full of life.”
Tax-deductible donations to the non-profit Stables 4 Jed can be sent to:
Stables 4 Jed, 3210 370th Street, Manning, Iowa 51455.
Donors can also contribute online through Venmo @stables4Jed.
The Riesselmans will be launching a Stables 4 Jed website and other social media platforms in coming weeks.
(Douglas Burns of Carroll, a fourth-generation Iowa journalist, is a member of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative.)
Check out other writers in the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative:
Thanks for this Doug. This is something that so many families face. When I was a kid - maybe 5th grade - our neighbor's son (about Jed's age) was killed in a farm accident. It's horrific and walking through grief is deeply personal - this family is able to share that with others in need.
Thank you for this column. I spent many years writing about families who suffered the loss of their children on the farm. It still hurts to learn about others going through this. Their motivation to channel their grief into efforts to help others is a stepping stone through this pain.